She Was Beautifully Out Of Place

"SHE WAS BEAUTIFULLY OUT OF PLACE. SOMETIMES I BELIEVE SHE INTENDED TO BE. LIKE THE MOON DURING THE DAY." - D.R

This quote has been resonating with me for some time now. Because it is EXACTLY how I feel. Being raised the way I was, in the family I was + in the church I was taught I was "set apart". This gave me my reason to stand out, an excuse to be different + an admiration for that "uniqueness". This was something to celebrate + be excited about but not too excited! Because no matter what family, church, school or friend group you belong to there is always a reminder that you have to be "somewhat the same" as everyone else,  not TOO DIFFERENT... 

Do you ever feel that in your family role, in your job position + with your personal voice you are allowed to be 'different' but not in a way that throws off everyones expectations of you? You see, in reality, being "unique" can sometimes only be celebrated by those who DO NOT have any expectations of you. I have lived a life where I let myself be as different + special as everyone around me was comfortable with. Sitting in the box they placed me in, playing my role + carrying my title like I was supposed to. I cared more about people pleasing than I did about being true to myself (a game most of us learned to master at recess). Now, as an adult (at least I'm trying to be one) I am realizing that "people pleasing" is a way most people in our culture live. Don't get me wrong, I lived that way for 26 years. I thought I was supposed to + yes, I felt happily accepted... but my life was not my own. 

To break away from being controlled by others, the tendency people have is to "REBEL"... to break away from their parents, their leaders + sometimes even God. Without really thinking it through, this explosion of emotion is caused by hurt, pain, disappointment, anger + regret. I've been there too... only to come to the conclusion that there is nothing to be proud of when you rebel, only more un-fulfillment. You see, when you make a decision to "take your power back", but use it to hurt others, prove others wrong or to 'hit someone back' (aka a playground game) - your heart is only leaking poison, hate + pain. That in itself, will be your destruction! There is something worse than people pleasing + that is a hateful heart.

So what do you do? You want to be true to yourself but you want to love others + be strong! I am so glad to FINALLY say that there is a beautiful balance to being [Wild + Free] without being crazy + out of control. My life message (soon to be book) I am writing is the grace of being who you uniquely are + the faith to become who you were meant to. The season I am in right now is in finding the strength to speak up what I believe + the heart to love people the way they are.

If you would like to join me in this journey, please sign up for my newsletter to hear more, get my #motivationmonday + to meet up for monthly socials!