WHO or what leads you?
"Are you led by your spirit or by your wound?"
So I will be honest... this weekend I was attacked + cornered in a disgusting way by an individual who spit verbal abuse in Jesus' name. For those of you who claim to know God, who know God or even if you don't, let me say one thing: Abuse, harassment, + negativity will NEVER be from God.
I have written about this encounter a total of 5 times so far (only to read it, then re-write it). Why? Because I want to address the issue of "Spiritual Bullying" without being a bully myself. You see, I am inspired by the quote above because I have been hurting for a long time + I made decisions, allowed myself to hurt others + had a swayed perspective because of my wounds. Therefore, not being the best me, even in my greatest attempts + efforts to be!
I will reference back to a few of my original points I made 2 days ago while writing this, but overall, after seeking, investigating + asking the right questions, I finally feel like the story has changed. Not to blame + judge someone else reacting out of their pain (which is real), but to look into my my own situation + understand I can't be the "bigger person" without God. ***Confession*** I have backed away from writing so much about God, the church + spirituality not because I have "fallen away from Him" but because I have many wounds from my own understanding of who GOD IS. ***What was HIM or what hurts were from people***
(For those of you who know me, you know that was very difficult for me to admit + say.)
You see, in my original post, I wanted to write about how we are supposed to be led by the spirit not our wounds + no matter how hard my effort was to say the right thing was, it would never be good enough without God. You see, using God as an excuse to do something is NOT WHAT gives you power... but doing + being how HE IS will. Our God is full of Grace, Love, Mercy, Forgiveness, Power, Strength, Gentleness, Kindness... NOT judgement, punishment, or hate. But it is easy to be confused when you feel shame, you know messed up, or you fell down for a second. Just know, God is NOT like us. He is SO MUCH GREATER at understanding us, better than we know ourselves.
Let me give some advise to all my friends who loved Jesus.. Do not ever attack someone in the name of Jesus or speaking for "Him". You acting that way proves you don't know Him as well as you claim + it makes you look foolish. I believe we ALL have a tendency to be led by our hurts even when we try really hard to be spirit led. So, how do you know which one you are acting in?
When you are led by the spirit, you work hard to find forgiveness, love, grace + mercy. No matter how long it takes, you always aim to help others, love others + bring light to every person/place you meet. Spirit led is a process (sadly, working from your wounds comes all too easy). You won't be able to be perfect because when you are led by the Spirit (despite your hurts), it takes great strength, intentionality + accountability. Being spirit led is truly about relying on a greater LOVE because you can't be the person you need to without it. It's honest + will always be more difficult to do.
These may seem obvious, but when you are led by your wounds you are close-minded, your mouth is full of excuses + blame. You cause more confusion, destruction + conflict while your body is full of anger that is slowly destroying you (no, it's not the original wound). The heat in your stomach burns that wound worse so it becomes infected + unable to heal. No good ever comes from acting through hurt. It only allows bitterness, sickness + disease to grow roots around your heart to destroy your spirit. You destroy yourself + everyone who loves you.
Remember this, hate is hate... not matter if it's justified, it will never be who GOD is.
Heavy right? So my challenge to you today is this: Choose today "what or who" leads you. For anyone hurt, I am so sorry. For anyone facing a tough situation or who has a good excuse, I understand the feeling of great impossible pain. But from experience, I am here to tell you there are ONLY 2 CHOICES: Be led by your wounds (worries, doubts, fears, anger, ect) or be led by the best part of you, the spirit! It's a daily choice, + yes, sometimes we mess up, but you know what? Thats okay! Just get up, try again! The goal is to get better, to grow + to love others the way He loves us. Always. Everything else is a loud noise... without true unconditional love.
Thank you for reading, please feel free to comment or ask questions... just know I believe in you + love you! xoxo Mel Marie